This Was Never Right
by Emeline
Summary: Fire bending may be the element of life, but lightning bending was certainly death.


" _Take care of your brother, Mako_ ," _his mother whispered, stroking his cheek with her thumb._

" _I will, Mom," he promised, sticking out his chest proudly._

 _His father knelt down, holding him close. "I love you so much."_

Mako pulled his red scarf closer, his breath coming out in a white mist before him. Rain fell fast and thick on the streets of Republic City, coating his world in muted tones of brown and gray.

"I'm-m s-so cold," Bolin shivered, inching closer to his brother. Wrapped around his shoulders in place of a jacket was an old sheet they had nicked from the trash. It was thin and ragged, full of holes, and it was more brown now than its original white.

Mako wrapped his scarf around his brother's neck. "Just a couple more minutes, Bo. Narook's closes at nine, and they always throw out their noodles in that dumpster. How does noodles sound for dinner?"

Bolin rubbed his stomach. " _Anything_ sounds good for dinner."

As if on cue, the back door to the restaurant swung open, and a disgruntled employee ambled out, emptying two pots' worth of noodles into the dumpster before returning to the warmth of the indoors. Bolin made to run towards the noodles, but Mako held out a hand to stop him.

"Wait. It isn't safe. Besides, what we're doing is still technically considered 'stealing.'" He walked out ahead of Bolin, looking left and right with a flame in hand.

Something felt off . . .

"Can we please, please get some noodles?" Bolin pleaded, tugging at the ends of Mako's shirt. "Please, Mako. I'm starving. And they're just sitting there!"

"Ok," he acquiesced. "But be—"

Bolin all but sprinted towards the noodles with glee, his pudgy legs slipping and skidding across the wet pavement. He stuffed a handful of noodles in his mouth without abandon, sighing with contentment. He smiled at his brother, noodles dangling from the corners of his lips.

"—careful," Mako finished lamely, grinning in spite of himself. He reached for a noodle—

"Hey kid! You can't eat that!" Mako's head whipped around in time to see that the worker had unexpectedly returned, an iron frying pan in his hand.

Before he had time to react, the man had grabbed Bolin by the collar and smacked his legs out from under him, knocking him to the ground.

 _Crack_.

Bolin howled in pain, clutching at his right leg. "That'll keep you put while I call the authorities!"

Fire erupted from Mako's hands before he could think. "Don't you _dare_ touch my brother!"

He gritted his teeth and threw himself at the man, fire slashing viciously from his arms in wide arcs. Mako punched and punched, his throat aching as he yelled with rage. No matter how many flames he threw, the man always seemed to dodge them, edging progressively closer to him. Soon, the whole surrounding area was engulfed in flames.

"NO!" Bolin cried, still holding tightly to his leg. "YOU PROMISED ME, MAKO! YOU PROMISED ME YOU WOULDN'T!"

Mako turned to his assess the state of his brother moments before a pan grazed the side of his jaw with a resounding crash. His perspective abruptly shifted sideways as he collapsed to the ground, dizzy. He blinked and tried to clear his vision, but he could barely make out the employee coming at him with the pan again.

A man dressed in high-fashion water tribe attire stepped between them. "Hey. This is triple threat triad territory. You wanna put that pan down and go back inside before we have any more trouble?"

The employee backed away, murder still in his eyes. His hand trembled as he pointed his pan at Mako and Bolin. "These boys stole from my shop."

"Do you mean the noodles in the dumpster?"

"Yes," the man confessed sheepishly after awhile. He offered one last glare before retreating inside.

"Please help," Mako sobbed, gathering his brother's head into his lap. He fought to stay conscious as he took in the sight of bone jutting prominently through the flesh of Bolin's leg.

"It hurts," he moaned.

The gangster turned to Mako and offered his hand. "Hey kid. Name's Shady Shin."

Mako's face was white and anxious as he latched on to Shin. "You're a water bender, right? Fix him!"

Shin shook his head sadly. "I'm sorry. I'm not a healer. Never learned how. I don't think I could heal him even if I knew how, though. He needs a hospital."

"A hospital?" Mako ran a hand through his hair, pulling at the spiky ends. "But we can't afford a hospital. And they'll send us back to the orphanage if we go there."

"Don't worry, kid," Shady Shin shook his head and smirked, flashing a gold tooth. "I think I know someone who can help you. You're Fire Nation, right?"

Mako bobbed his head up and down. "Half fire nation, half earth kingdom."

Shady Shin eyed the flames hungrily consuming the scenery. "Well, we'll have to work on your aim, but you're in luck. The boss is looking for firebenders."

* * *

"You must be Mako."

Mako nodded, not daring to break eye contact with the man Shady Shin had introduced as Lightning Bolt Zolt.

"Are you a firebender, Mako?"

He gulped. "Yeah, I am." He thought back to Bolin's screams and his terrified face. "But I don't want to use my bending to hurt anybody."

"Who said anything about hurting anybody?" Zolt countered.

"N-no one," Mako admitted, gazing down at his hands. He was shaking.

"What happened to you wasn't right. No boy should ever lose his parents at your age. But I know how you feel, kid."

Mako looked up. "You do? How?"

"Because," Zolt said, leaning in closer. "Agni Kais killed my brother."

"I'm sorry."

"No reason to be. It was a long time ago. I was barely older than you are now. But the important thing is, I didn't let it get to me. Instead, I learned how to make things right. Now tell me, boy, what happened that night? What did the police say to you when they arrived?"

"They said they'd catch him. They'd find him, and they'd put him in jail for a long, long time."

"Did they keep any of their promises?"

"No." For the first time in the year since his parents' death, Mako allowed himself to feel something other than mere sadness and anger. Rage coursed through him, hot and alive, like the fire that bloomed from his fingertips.

"That's what I thought. What are you going to do about it?"

Shame settled comfortably next to the fury burning him from the inside out. "I can't do anything. I'm barely surviving as it is, and I've got to keep my brother alive, too."

"That's were you're wrong, Mako. You can do something. Your bending gives you an edge, a way to strike back. I've heard from Shady Shin that you're a talented firebender."

He shrugged. "I know some stuff."

"Have you ever heard of lightning bending?"

Mako hesitated, a shudder running down his spine. Of course he had heard of lightning bending—didn't the whole world know the story of when Azula nearly ended the Avatar cycle forever? It was a rare gift, once reserved only for Fire Nation Royalty. And yet, he'd heard the rumors about Zolt . . .

"Not many firebenders can bend lightning. What makes you think I can do it?"

Zolt stroked his chin, chuckling. "I never said anything about you learning how to lightning bend."

Mako flushed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean—"

"But you're right, little detective. I know a lightning bender when I see one, and it just so happens that I'm looking for a partner. I can teach you. How would you like to go to sleep tonight, knowing that you have the means to avenge your parents' wrongful death and protect your brother?"

* * *

A powerful wave of nausea tore Mako from his sleep. He crawled on all fours to the toilet, the force of the vomiting coercing him down to his knees. Once his stomach was emptied, he slumped back against the wall and closed his eyes, wiping at the spittle and sweat peppering his face.

He didn't notice his brother rising from his spot on the ground to sit next to him until he spoke. "He made you do it again, didn't he?"

Mako jumped. "Nobody makes me do anything," he grumbled, spitting in a vain effort to rid his mouth of the repulsive taste.

Bolin handed him a glass of water, which he accepted without argument. "Don't lie to me, Mako."

"I—I don't know what you're talking about," he coughed.

"I'm not an idiot. Who was it and what did Zolt want with them?"

Mako rested his forehead against the cup, relishing its cool touch. His palms still emanated with heat, proof of the lightning that had surged through him only hours before. He sagged with defeat.

"Water bender. Red Monsoon. She—she knew where they were hiding out. Zolt wouldn't stop. I can't get her out of my head."

He pushed Bolin away so he could heave again into the toilet, cradling his temples to keep his skull from bursting with the effort of playing the scenes on repeat in his mind. He felt his brother's hand on his back.

"You don't have to do this, Mako."

* * *

Mako looked over at Republic City from the gazebo on Air Temple Island, barely conscious of the breeze blowing across his skin. It was only ten o'clock in the morning, and yet, it had already managed to be one of the worst days of Mako's life. Not the worst. No. The worst was seeing the Avatar's white eyes gaze into her father's face and then close. That was certainly the worst, and Mako hoped it wouldn't be outdone any time soon.

 _Ming Hua is dead. She's dead because of me_.

He could still hear her in his head, her guttural screams echoing throughout the cave as his lightning pierced the arms made of water. He studied his gloved hands, feeling strange. She had deserved it. Given the chance, she would have killed him. Bolin, too. And Korra—he didn't want to think about it.

"Hey," a voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Asami. What are you doing here?"

"I came to bring you something to eat. I know you haven't eaten since yesterday." She set down the tray in her hands, which held an assortment of Pema's finest vegetarian cuisine.

"I'm sorry," he ran a hand though his hair. "I've just been lost in thought. You shouldn't be worried about me right now, anyway. How's Korra? You've barely left her side since we got back."

"Yeah," Asami agreed, looking away as she hugged herself. "She's needed a lot of help the past couple of days. But she's doing better. She's with Bolin right now."

"That's good." Mako took a sweet bun from the tray so as not to be rude. "How are you doing? I'm sure you're exhausted. You should get some rest. Let Bolin help out for awhile. He hates sitting around, especially when someone could use his help."

Asami bit her lip. "Bolin told me what happened. He told me about Ghazan . . . and about Ming Hua."

Mako dropped the sweet bun in shock, keeping his eyes cautiously trained away from her face. A muscle in his cheek spasmed. "I'm really sorry, Asami. I know a fire bender took your mom. I didn't mean for it to end like this."

Asami grabbed his arm. "None of us meant for it to end like this, Mako. I'm just glad Korra's alive. If Ming Hua were still out there, I honestly don't know what I would do. Don't beat yourself up for what happened."

"Thanks, Asami."

They sat in silence for several minutes before Asami cleared her throat and picked up the tray, clearing off the food and leaving it next to him. "Mako . . . why haven't you visited Korra yet? I know she wants to see you."

"I, uh, well, you know, with everything that happened between us—" he gestured awkwardly with hands. "I wouldn't want to be a hindrance to her recovery process."

Asami rolled her eyes. "Right. Well, Korra barely recognizes her own name right now, so I would be impressed if she somehow miraculously recalled that you two dated."

Mako's hands dropped to his side, his head tipped down in guilt. "I know. I just can't right now. But I'll come by later. Maybe tomorrow."

"Don't let her down." Asami offered him a sympathetic glance before walking away, leaving Mako alone again to relive his memories. It wasn't long before he could recall their voices.

He found himself back in the Triple Threat Triads' makeshift prison.

Mako had finally found the courage to look his boss in the face. "This isn't right."

Zolt threw back his head and laughed. "This was never right, Mako. You losing your parents, and me being Republic City's most wanted criminal. But who cares about right? This is about what we want, what _you_ want."

He heard the Red Monsoon woman cry and beg for her life as Lightning Bolt Zolt urged, 'More, Mako, more!'

He watched in horror as the body of Ming Hua sizzled and twitched, her eyes open and glassy as she stared unblinkingly to the ceiling of the cave.

And last, he heard Korra, her tortured screams ripping through the strings of his heart.

 _I can't hear another water tribe woman scream today. I'm sorry, Korra_. _Please don't hate me. Heaven knows I do enough of that for the both of us._

* * *

"Hey, City Boy. Thought I might find you over here." Korra shimmied into the spot next to him on the bench.

Mako stiffened. They hadn't been in this close proximity since—well—

"Oh. Hey, Korra. I'm sorry I'm not with everybody else. I was just thinking."

"You know," she said, clapping him on the shoulder. "You do that a lot."

He chuckled. "Yeah, I guess I do. It helps. When there's a mecha-giant about ready to destroy my city, well, it makes a guy stop and ponder his life for a bit."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Korra said, idly kicking her legs back and forth.

"You do?" he asked in genuine surprise.

She laughed, scratching the back of her neck. "Yeah, I know, I know. I used to be more of a 'fight everyone first, ask questions later' kinda girl. But, believe it or not, I'm not like that anymore. I mean, sometimes, ok, I still do that. But I get it now. I get why you need to sit down and think for awhile before jumping into the action. And Mako, I want you to know that I'm sorry, really sorry, about what happened between us."

Mako looked up. "What are you talking about, Korra?"

She sighed, nervously pulling at the edges of the pelt fastened around her waist. "I mean _us_ , Mako. I never really understood you when we were together, and now I see that I didn't even try, and I should have. You gave your entire life to Bolin after your parents died. And I—I was taken care of my whole life. I never left the compound, never wanted for anything. I didn't get what it meant to sacrifice, and I didn't really care. Sure, some really crappy things happened to me while I was off trying to save the world, but none of that was anything compared to facing the Red Lotus. Now I know what it's like to throw yourself between someone you love and destruction. It hurts. It hurts like hell. I came back broken; it didn't feel like a victory at all. For so long afterwards, I chased this idea of 'being the same'. But you can't be the same, and you can't go back. You're never the same when you sacrifice yourself like that; it changes you. But change isn't so horrible as I thought. I _meant_ my sacrifice, and so did you."

"I don't know if you should be comparing me providing for Bolin to you saving an entire nation of people. That's not the same thing."

"Hey," Korra said, squeezing his hand. His heart stopped. "It's not a comparison. Bolin was—and is—your everything."

"Korra, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Let's just say that someone gave you a chance to do it all over again. Do you think you would have made the same decision?"

She thought for a moment. "Back when I could do nothing but lie in bed, I used to think about that all the time. I would come up with all these different scenarios in my head of what could have happened. What if I hadn't turned myself in? What if we'd discovered Zaheer's trick sooner? But then I realized in the end, it didn't really matter. Because ultimately, I was willing to give up anything to save the air nation. That was the only scenario that actually mattered, and that's exactly what happened."

He nodded, absorbing her words. "I think that makes sense."

"Now it's my turn to ask you a question."

"All right, shoot."

"Is this about me? Or is this about you?"

"I don't know," he answered truthfully. "I guess you could say that I've done some pretty terrible things in the past. Some mornings, I wake up hating myself. But I don't know if that necessarily means I wouldn't go back and do it all over again."

"I won't tell you how you should feel about yourself, Mako. I don't know what you've done. But I think who we are is more than the product of our mistakes."

He smiled. "So . . . should we conclude this thinking session and head back inside? I bet everybody's starting to worry."

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea," she agreed, leading him back inside.

And it was then that he realized she'd been holding his hand the whole time.

* * *

" _Ok. But for the record, I do not approve. Just—get out as soon as you can. Promise?" Bolin held his hand up, his expression grim._

 _Mako gave him a half-smile, reaching for the proffered hand. "Promise."_

" _I love you."_

" _I love you, too. Now, go!"_

As Mako stared at the purple mass of spirit vines before him, he wasn't surprised to hear the faint wails of that water tribe girl from so many years ago, but unlike all the other times, this time, he wasn't filled with regret.


End file.
